The Dark Knight

I finally got around to watching The Dark Knight recently. It was a bootleg copy.

I'm not really into Batman, so maybe I should know better, but that Joker character was really offensive. Seriously.

That punk was just so disrespectful towards the other characters, and society in general. It was really despicable. Whoever played him should just die.

The No-Spit Rule

I was with a girl last night. She was giving me a blow-job.

Now, I have a strict rule when it comes to fellatio: don't spit on my dick for lubrication. It's just disgusting.

So she's down there, going to town, and suddenly she pulls out and unloads this huge luigi.

I asked her what the hell she thought she was doing, and she gives me this look.

Apparently, I had broken her rule first.

The Homeless Problem

I decided to do something good recently, so I helped a homeless man.

I took him to a convenience store and bought him some liquor so he wouldn't have to.

The Dream

I had a dream last night. In it, a baby was flying through the air.

That's because at the beginning of the dream, I fired the baby from a cannon.

Boy, did they fly...all those little pieces.